Saturday, October 17, 2009

What came first the chicken or the egg?

This is another blog that I'll probably regret writing. It doesn't really fit under the bilbification label. People without little children 's eyes gaze over when mothers of babies talk about sleep.

Moonshine's separation anxiety has been building up over the last few weeks and with it the return of her sleeping problems. It's frustrating - she is the most delightful happy little baby - until sleep time. The mere sight of her cot starts her crying. The same little baby who since about 4 months has pushed and kicked and thrown herself backwards to avoid sleeping in arms will now some days choose to sleep on the breast or in my arms rather than in the cot. What came first - Is she not wanting to be put in the cot because she doesn't want to be apart or does she get increasingly anxious because she's overtired from not wanting to sleep. The chicken or the egg.

Moonshine is getting oh so close to crawling. I'm guessing she's about two weeks away and will eventually crawl to reach food dropped by Rainbow. She's stretching from a sit to all fours to reach something and has a real motivation to reach things put out of her way. Does separation anxiety cause motivation to crawl. Or does the motivation to crawl make her realise that Mama can move out of her reach and cause the separation anxiety. The chicken or the egg.

The last few days Moonshine has started that endearing stage of wanting to climb her Mama. No longer does she want to sit beside me instead she wants to pull herself up to stand. Once standing she smiles and chats or snuggles in. Does separation anxiety fuel this desire to stand and eventually walk.

Am I looking in the wrong nest?


  1. Hi Kristine,
    Have you read What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen? I'm not sure it will give any specific answers to your chicken and egg situations but I always find it a great refuge when motherhood it proving a bit of a struggle for me!
    When we had problems with J and her cot, we switched to a single mattress on the floor (she was about 9 months I think) - the different bed seemed to make all the difference for us. Can't promise you it will work for you of course, but I'll keep my fingers crossed you can find a way through :-)

  2. Hi Zoe,
    Thanks for your insight. Sometimes it helps to normalise it.
    This is the third time Moonshine has gone through a period of resisting her cot. I'm hoping it is just a stage and that we can just wait it out. If you don't mind me asking, what were your cot issues with J. Also did J stay on the mattress on the floor once she got mobile?

  3. Hi Kristine,
    Our problem was that J moved about a lot at night in her cot, so much so that she kept getting jammed in a corner of the cot and then waking herself up because of it (so yes, nothing to do with cot aversion). This would happen 6-8 times in a night despite tucking her in tightly, or later putting her in a sleeping bag. We moved her to a mattress thinking that with the extra space she would take longer to get jammed up in a corner (indeed, there were only 2 corners left to get stuck in - on the other side she would have just ended up on the floor) and therefore I would get get longer bouts of sleep. We *were* worried about her getting properly mobile so we just had to make sure that the room was well and truly safe for her. Once or twice I found her sleeping on the floor without a blanket, but that has been the sum total of problems. She is still on the mattress (and she's now showing promise of wanting to climb everest), and we haven't had any problems because she can get out of bed herself. She can't yet open the door by herself, but nor have I ever heard her try.
    I agree, sometimes waiting it out is definitely the best route. If there's one thing I've learnt as a mother it's that things change, all the time. So when things are bad I know that it won't always be like this. And when things are good I try to forget that they won't always be like this and live in and love the moment!